"Yeah. Waiting it out sounds like a fucking party." Now it's her turn to lean a little bit into him and tilt her head a bit for a soft, brief kiss. He was steadying just by being there, so him saying he's moving in gets a smile. A small one, sadly, but it's there and the calm emotion and subtle relaxation behind it is very real.
Her arms both move around his shoulders
"I appreciate that, Raleigh. I really mean that. Thank you. You keep me from flipping out entirely."
She won't hit him. It's not in her to do. Neither is showing frailty or feelings of helplessness but she knows she needs to. Some deep down part of her knows it's okay to show how broken she feels. She continues holding him, one hand moving to run through his hair.
"I'm afraid, Raleigh. I'm afraid this is permanent. Forever. I'm afraid this won't right itself ever and what's worse is there's a small part of me that's given up hoping that I'll wake up fine one day." Her voice is steady at first, a quiver at the end creeping in despite her efforts to keep it out.
He doesn't say anything. His first instinct is a sarcastic remark. Trying to make light of the situation but he doesn't. Instead his arms wrap more tightly around her.
A sarcastic remark at the moment would have not gone over all that well. She'd understand why he did it, but she's not in the mood to make light of a situation that really does scare the hell out of her. Oh, sure. She can act all big and tough and pretend this isn't getting to her for the sake of the people around her.
But she can't fake it around Raleigh. Not if she wants whatever this is to work out. She just buries herself in his arms for a bit, eyes closed tightly. Her head rests against his shoulder and her fingers have closed tightly in his shirt.
She may not let go for a while.
"If I sound ungrateful with what I'm going to say, don't take it that way. I don't mean to sound ungrateful for anything at all. I love the help I'm getting. But I'm not used to it. No one's said anything, but I feel like maybe I'm a burden? Just a little bit. Like I'm inconveniencing people. Is that stupid?"
She'll be fine if he thinks it's stupid. It won't offend her at all.
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branchandroot
Re: action:
Date: 2013-11-13 03:00 am (UTC)Her arms both move around his shoulders
"I appreciate that, Raleigh. I really mean that. Thank you. You keep me from flipping out entirely."
Re: action:
Date: 2013-11-13 03:21 am (UTC)He leans his forehead against her neck, "...You can say what you're feeling Julie. I'm not made of glass. Punch me if you've gotta."
Re: action:
Date: 2013-11-13 03:48 am (UTC)"I'm afraid, Raleigh. I'm afraid this is permanent. Forever. I'm afraid this won't right itself ever and what's worse is there's a small part of me that's given up hoping that I'll wake up fine one day." Her voice is steady at first, a quiver at the end creeping in despite her efforts to keep it out.
Re: action:
Date: 2013-11-13 06:25 pm (UTC)You can say it Julie.
action:
Date: 2013-11-13 07:00 pm (UTC)But she can't fake it around Raleigh. Not if she wants whatever this is to work out. She just buries herself in his arms for a bit, eyes closed tightly. Her head rests against his shoulder and her fingers have closed tightly in his shirt.
She may not let go for a while.
"If I sound ungrateful with what I'm going to say, don't take it that way. I don't mean to sound ungrateful for anything at all. I love the help I'm getting. But I'm not used to it. No one's said anything, but I feel like maybe I'm a burden? Just a little bit. Like I'm inconveniencing people. Is that stupid?"
She'll be fine if he thinks it's stupid. It won't offend her at all.
"